How Does It Feel
by IncandescentC
Summary: How does it feel, to be, different from me? Are we the same? How does it feel?
1. I Dont Like You For Making My Sister Cry

**WUT! My first Dramione fic! **

**I felt the need of doing one since I'm seriously obsessed with them, they're too cute :D**

**So anyway, I would like to know your opinion. Any critic is accepted, good or bad, I'm here to learn from my mistakes after all ^^**

**Well either way, ENJOY!**

Why him? Oh boy, if he knew cupid he would already kick him right in his baby-like little butt. But he didn't, so he couldn't.

_Damn, why the mudblood? _He thought to himself as he eyed her from across the classroom. He stared as she wrote down some notes, class notes—he knew she was writing class notes, it was Hermione Granger you were talking about— _Well... she looks damn good today, at least she's not so repulsive to look at...WHAT?! no! _He shook his head, as if like erasing said thought from his head. _Get a hold, Malfoy! It's Granger you're talking about! _She then, turned to shyly look at him. He tried to stare about at her with hate, but memories of last summer flashed through his mind, making it almost impossible to hate her. He couldn't help the instant smirk that crossed his handsome features. Hermione returned the smile, and then looked away quickly, hiding the pink colour of her cheeks. _She looks especially good when she blushes..._ He unconsciously let out a dreamy sight, which caused his two bodyguards and Pansy—his personal pain in the ass—to turn and look curiously at him.

"What?" he growled at them, then lay back on his chair, and crossed his arms around his chest. _Dammit, this people... _he cursed under his breath.

Flashback  
Draco's POV

He walked silently down the path to the beach. After his father was sent off to Azkaban, he and his mother sought for some peace as far away from London as possible. They were now at Australia. His mother and father bought a house there before he was born, so now they were finally giving the house a use. It wasn't as big as his house from London, but he liked it better. It was nicer in lots of ways.

"Excuse me" he felt someone pulling at his shorts, he looked down to find a little girl carrying a little teddy bear. The little girl stare at him, as if analyzing him, then carried on "You are..." she analyze him again "Draco...Malfoy, right?" Draco's eyes grew slightly bigger, how on earth did this girl knew him? He got down on his heels, so to be at the same height of the girl.

"Yes, who might you be little one?" the girl rolled her eyes, almost as if it was too obvious. Lucky her Draco was in a very good mood.

"You don't know about me?" she asked surprised, Draco blinked a couple of times, confused. What was this girl talking about? Of course he didn't know about her, why would he? He shook his head, the girl sighted. "I am Hilary" the girl, then, waited for Draco to react in some sort of way, but since he did nothing but stare, she continued "Hilary Granger!" she finally screamed loosing her patience "Hermione Granger is my older sister, she attends to your school" Draco was left without words again. Damn confusion.

"Yes, I do know your sister" he finally answered. The little girl—Hilary—smiled at him. "But, why do you know me? Your sister and I...we..." he didn't want to say something as "I hate your sister for being a mudblood, therefore, you are a mudblood too so I hate you as well" he really wasn't in the mood, besides he has never hated her. "We don't get along very well" he finally decided to say.

Hilary rolled her eyes over again "I know that, she doesn't speak of you kindly the way she speaks of Harry or Ron. She actually speaks of you with rage" Draco looked at her with interest, he was not surprised by that, but he did wonder...why did she even bother to talk about him? "I've heard her talk to mom about you twice, she always cries when she does so. I don't like you for making my sister cry," she frowned at him, then proceed to continue "She also writes about you in her journal"

"Really?" he didn't know why he was so pleased to hear about it "What she writes" he knew he probably shouldn't feel this happy to know Hermione actually talked and wrote about him.

Hilary looked weirdly at him "I don't know, how am I suppose to know?"

"Don't you read her journal or something?" the girl pushed him, causing Draco to fall down. Instead of yelling at her and cursing her, he laughed. "Dammit Granger" he said between laughs.

Hilary pointed at him with her index finger "You said a bad word" Draco stood up quickly, now he was way taller than the girl.

"Where is your sister?" he asked anxiously suddenly he wanted to see her, he needed to see her.

"My sister..." Hilary eyed him suspiciously, she might be little, but she resembled her sister in so many ways. She even acted the way her sister did, which Draco personally loved.

"Yes, Hermione..." it felt weird calling her by her name rather than her surname "Where is she?"

Hilary frowned at him once again "I won't take you to her" she almost screamed, then turned her back on Draco and started walking off toward the beach. Draco didn't care if she wasn't telling him; he simply followed. After few minutes of walking, Hilary began running. Draco narrowed his eyes; she most certainly wasn't going away, the hell she was! Draco walked just a little faster, his height allowed him to easily follow the girl without the need of running or making any effort on it.

"Herms!" the little girl screamed. Draco stopped. Did the girl just called out for Hermione? The girl kept on running toward a slim figure, the figure turned. And there she was. Her hair was tight into what seemed a messy ponytail, her curls danced around her face as the wind blew. He felt like placing those little curls behind her ear. She was wearing a light, white, and transparent blouse, through it, Draco could see the bikini she was wearing. It was light blue, and damn, it fitted her real good. She also wore a rather little orange skirt. She bent down on her heels, her arms extended so for her little sister to arrive at them. Draco cursed the little girl who still ran toward Hermione, why was she running to her arms? He wanted to be held by those very same arms, but no, of course he couldn't. Damn stereotypes.

Hilary finally arrived, and when she did, Hermione held her up in her arms—the arms in which Draco wanted to be—after said scene, Hilary whispered something into her sister's ear, which caused her to violently turn her face toward Draco, who still stood frozen looking at her—he looked rather stupefy. Hermione shot him a hateful glance. _Damn you Granger! I just so happen to watch over your sister all her damn way to the beach and this is what I get? _Maybe he didn't intend to watch over her sister, but after all, he did.

Hermione didn't even bother to hex him or anything; she just turned and began walking away from Draco, still holding her sister. Draco burned in anger, was he being ignored? NO ONE ignored him, not even mudblood here. Who did she think she was to ignore HIM? Draco Malfoy was never ignored!

"Granger!" he screamed after her. Hilary turned to look at him, and then whispered something else into Hermione's ear. Hermione stopped, then turned. She placed Hilary on the soft sand and began walking toward Draco.

Draco smirked, that was more like it. Hermione rolled her eyes as she saw the smug smile that crossed his face.

"That is better, Granger" he added still smiling, Hermione snorted at him and once she was a few steps away from him; she stopped. Her eyes seemed annoyed, and she was definitely not coming to greet him.

"Hilary would like to thank you" she finally said not looking at him, her stare always at the sand. Draco seemed confused, why was she thanking him? He walked past Hermione and directed himself to the little girl that was now playing with the sand.

"You are very welcome, Hilary" he said patting her head. Hilary looked up, and smiled at him. Even if he didn't know why she thanked him in the first place, he thought it would be fun to play along.

"Let's go Hil" Hermione called out for her. The girl stood up and ran to her sister once again. Draco turned and watched Hermione heading the opposite way she was heading a while ago. Draco gave no big importance to it and instead sat in the spot Hilary was once sited. The wind blew a few fangs of blond hair that fell over his forehead; he closed his eyes and tried imagining Hermione sitting by his side, both watching the sunset...he opened them immediately. _**What the hell? **_Why was he even thinking of her in that way? _Malfoy, the heat is sure getting to your head _he nodded, as if affirming the sentences he just repeated to himself in his mind. Deep inside him, however, he knew it was not the heat, nor the cold. He has never seen her so beautiful. She looked radiant, like a goddess.

What was wrong with him?

He knew he has found her rather attractive, but that was as far as he allowed himself to go, and now...he was even aiming for them to watch the sunset together, all romantic bullshit. He sighted. He was screwed.

He stood up slowly, then headed his way home. Thoughts of Hermione wouldn't leave his mind. But he didn't care, he didn't even force them out the way he would normally do. He just allowed them to stay. He liked them there where they were, maybe because he knew she could be with him in the infinity of his imagination. At least there was a place where they could be together.

**Soo yeah, that was my attempt to a Dramione fic... epic fail **

**Well I hope I get better at the next chapter, lol.**

**Any comment? Critic? Flaming? do so by leaving a review :D**

**Thanks for reading.**

**~SHSU18**


	2. Nauseas

04:41

She tried focusing on the class, after all, thinking and _looking _at Malfoy wouldn't make her pass, it wouldn't assure her a good grade, and neither would it make her quill to write by it's own.

Focusing. That's all she needed. It was simple, but yet her brain wouldn't send the order to her body. She kept turning, she kept blushing, she kept smiling at him, and she kept remembering that stupid, _stupid _summer. She had been so reckless back then. Allowing her hormones to take control of her body was not something she usually would do, and still... that night at the boathouse wouldn't come off. Of course _she _was the one who started it, not Malfoy, she was the one who kissed him, she was the one who ripped his shirt open. She, she, she, and she. Reckless she.

She sighted. So things didn't turn out well for her, she had Malfoy stuck into her mind like a stamp that just wouldn't come off no matter how many times you tried tearing it off. And to make matters worse, she was sick. Paler than usual and crazy dizzy. Her skin lacked its normal glow, as so did her face, her once cheerful and flirty brown eyes had huge purple—almost greenish—circles under them; which only showed how bad she had been spending her nights. Even her smile lacked its normal charm.

She inhaled, and exhaled. Over and over again, she was dizzier by then, but there was no way she was skipping class to go the infirmary and ask for something to calm her dizziness. To be dizzy wasn't that serious. Just a mental state, it would pass. Everything was going to be all right.

She nodded to herself. Totally right, she was Hermione Granger, and she was _always _right, so if she said she was going to be all right, then she was! Period. There was not other way.

She closed her eyes, and then inhaled and exhaled once again, she clearly thought that was calming her down, but that only brought memories back to her...

Flashback.

_Didn't he have enough already? Ruining her school years was one thing, but ruining her vacations as well was just intolerable, far beyond intolerable._

_What was Malfoy doing here? She thought of him having some big party at his manor back in London, but no, he was here as well. And, may Merlin forgive her, but he looked not bad at all. Tanned made no bad for him, his eyes even looked brighter and his complexion healthier. His blonde hair sparkled whenever the soft lights of the sun caressed it...and no. She shook her head. _

_**Get a hold Granger, it's Malfoy, remember? MALFOY! **__She thought to herself as she kept moving forward, faster and faster by the minute. _

"_Herms!" someone cried out for her. She stopped violently, and turned swiftly to her little sister, who tried real hard to keep up with the sudden quick speed of her older sister. Hermione smiled sweetly at her, then giggled when the girl accidentally fell right into the sand. Hilary stood up quickly, and then eyed Hermione with hateful eyes. "What is so funny?" she asked, crossing her little arms around her chest. Hermione rolled her eyes._

"_Hilary come on, mum will be worried if we don't arrive in time" she scolded her little sister. Hilary uncrossed her arms, and doubtfully walked toward her sister, still doubtful about whether taking Hermione's hand or not. Hermione find her sister's doubtfulness really ridiculous. She wasn't 2 anymore. Therefore, Hermione refused to actually fell for her tantrums, the little kid wanted it to go her way? Hell, she wasn't having anything her way, at least not with her. Sure let her parents be all spoiled on her, if they continued, Hilary would just turn out to be as annoying as Malfoy... Malfoy, always thinking the world owned him. As if._

_Hermione took Hilary into her arms, and started to walk fast again. Hilary still looked at her with hateful eyes, but Hermione didn't care. The child did nothing but eye people with "hateful" eyes, just the way Malfoy did. Sometimes she wondered if the girl was adopted or something of the sort, she was spoiled, arrogant, proud and the most stubborn person in the whole wide world (yeah she surpassed Malfoy) she wasn't even brunet! The girl was silver blonde with big clear grey orbs. Freckles across her childish, angelic face, a tiny nose, and pink, delicate lips. She was almost too beautiful to actually be her little sister. _

_But the girl really proved to be Granger, even if she didn't resemble her much, she was far beyond intelligent, courageous, kind and friendly._

_Hermione sighted. Such silly thought... of course the girl in her arms was her sister. Her own grandmother was blonde, so there was the possibility of her being like that. However, the grey eyes were beyond her understanding. Every member of her family had brown eyes, everyone until Hilary._

_She walked slower now, taking each step carefully, kindly letting her feet sink into the soft sand. The ocean waves crashed with her toes, and the wind softly blew the curls in her face around. _

_Her vacation house was now close; she could see it from where she stood. But she didn't want to arrive. She liked the ocean breeze blowing her curls, the water crashing on her toes, her feet sinking into the sand... it was all so beautiful. The sight of the sunset by the sea, the clear blue almost crystalline water moving calmly... she didn't want to move._

_She closed her eyes for a second. And just for a second, she allowed her imagination to run..._

_She imagined herself sitting by the sea, staring blankly at the sunset, Malfoy's arms wrapped securely around her. Both of them alone, finally alone, they remained silent. Malfoy had his chin over her shoulder; her head was against his. After a few seconds, Draco started placing little kisses on her neck, said kisses making her giggle softly. Tickling her nervous system..._

_And then someone touched her shoulder, irrupting her most desired dream. She turned in surprised, slightly jumping thus to her surprised. She found the very same guy she had just imagined kissing her neck. _

"_What do you want?" said she rather rudely, and she didn't intent to sound as such, but hell she wanted him so badly it hurt to even look at him._

_Malfoy snorted, rolling his clear orbs, making them stop at Hermione's figure when they stopped rolling. _

"_You want me to leave, Granger?" he smirked at her mischievously, making Hermione's knees tremble._

"_Yes, in fact, I do" she then turned, and set off walking again, trying to think of anything that could distract her from her own thoughts. And she walked, not even bothering to look back. She was no fool, and she knew Malfoy was following her; just what the hell did he want? _

_Once Hermione was at the front entrance of her house, she woke Hilary up, and asked her to go inside and tell mum they have finally arrived. At first, Hilary looked confused, for she had by now spotted Draco following them, but she decided to ask no further questions and instead she just obeyed her older sister's sayings. The girl jumped gracefully into the house, and then closed the door behind her._

_Once Hilary did so, Hermione turned to Draco, her hands crossed around her chest, her look annoyed._

"_I'm trying to be friendly here, Granger" he said raising both his hands, stepping just a few steps toward her, Hermione backing away as he moved closer. She couldn't have him that close to her._

"_Since when?" she asked offended. Ever since she entered school, he had caused her endless sleepless nights full of sore tears, and broken hearts. Over and over again, and by her 6__th__ year, she was honestly sick of crying her soul out for a guy who never acknowledged her feelings, the guy who never cared._

"_Since now, of course" he covered the distance between them, placing his hands on her shoulders, not allowing her to move "C'mon, let me take you out for dinner" _

_Hermione wanted to pinch herself, right there in front of Malfoy. Maybe it all was some kind of dream, a situation being created by her imagination. She closed her eyes and violently bit her tongue._

"_Ouch!" she whispered, or she thought she had whispered, but in fact she didn't. Hermione's hands immediately covered her mouth, the iron taste on her mouth made her realise she had hurt her poor tongue. She looked up, hoping so badly to find the whole Draco situation as just her imagination, but her brown eyes soon came across his grey orbs. Draco eyed her confusedly, or that was the impression he gave her._

"_Why would you bite your tongue for, Granger?" he said trying to avoid the chuckle that originated on his throat. Hermione eyed him with hateful eyes-the way Hilary had eyed her a few minutes ago- and uncovered her mouth. Before she could even formulate a sentence, Draco passed his fingers across her lips, cleaning off some of her tongue's blood. Hermione stared at him with wide eyes, like if you were giving a little kid some kind of massive candy._

"_Very well then, I shall take my leave now" he smiled at Hermione, which did not only make her blush but also made her froze "We'll talk about our little dinner later" he caress her cheek, then turned his back on her to start walking away from a flustered Hermione._

_She could barely swallow, but somehow she managed to do so. The liquid passed slowly through her throat. She looked around. Maybe it all was a joke, and there were people around to make fun of her little blushing-which wasn't little at all-. Then she found the whole people-making-fun-of-her situation really pathetic; of course there weren't such people. They both were alone, or have been alone. And she had been stupid not to answer to his proposal, because she wanted to have dinner with him as much as she wanted to have good grades. She wanted him, more than anything. And hell she wanted that dinner!_

_She turned around to her house, angry with herself for being so stupid as to not answering him. Damn her!_

End of Flashback.

Hermione smiled foolishly by the sole memory. By that time her dizziness had grew stronger. Now she had nausea. She felt she was vomiting any time soon. So she went on again with inhaling and exhaling.

The class moved slowly to her, everything was so slow. Time was infinite. And she just wanted it to end, but it wasn't ending. She got nothing from class; she didn't even listen to the homework. But that, oddly, neither interested nor worried her. She _needed _to get to the bathroom and fast.

Finally the class ended, and, when she would normally pick all of her belongings and take her time to leave, she got up-hitting her knee in the process- and exited the room, leaving all her things scattered around her sitting place.

Hermione ran as fast as her legs would allow her. She felt it, the horribly tasting liquid in her throat. No doubt she was throwing up.

She finally arrived to the girl's bathroom, and just there in front of the W.C. she threw up. She hated throwing up, _everyone _hated throwing up. The one person who liked it had to be a complete freak. A masochist.

Her curls where all covered in vomit. Which, once again, brought nausea to her weak stomach. She pulled away from her throwing place, resting her head against the small cubiculum door, her breathing easing a little.

"Hermione?" someone knocked on the door, she moved from the floor, weakly standing up. She opened the door to find a worried Ginny. The red-haired girl gasped in disgust, but she didn't turn to leave. "What... you need to go to the infirmary" the girl took Hermione by the arm, and pulled her out of the cubiculum. Hermione stumbled while she let herself be pulled by Ginny. Ginny placed Hermione's right arm around her neck, and by so, she helped her made her way out of the bathroom. The red-haired clothes where soon covered in Hermione's vomit, but she didn't care. She'd worry about that later, for now the only thing that ran through Ginny's mind was worry over her friend.

Ginny took Hermione to the prefect's room-Hermione's room-said the password, and helped Hermione lay down on the bed.

"I think you should take a bath, then I'll take you to the infirmary" the girl said cheerfully, she then entered the bathroom and warmed up the water from the large tube for Hermione to enter.

Hermione heard the water splashed into the tube, which reminded her of the oceans waves crashing on her toes, her toes and Draco's.

She remembered how both would go out for a walk at the beach during the sunset. How her tiny hand fitted perfectly with his large hand. How the ocean breeze would play with his silver hair, and how he would smile at her whenever he pushed back the curls from her face. How much she loved that smile... she sighted, knowing that whatever happened during their wondrous summer together, wouldn't be repeated.

I'm sorry the narrative is this short, but I was at exam period, so yeah I had to study and all...

But anyway, here is part II and I hope you people like it :D


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